We all are selfish to an extent, and the normal level of self-love, self-value is significant to live happily. But there is a line between self-love and selfishness, they people who never give a thought about others and do what please them are normally considered self-obsessed, selfish or simply narcissistic. There are people who never consider how other’s might feel and how sad their actions can make other’s are counted as ‘rude’ they speak without thinking and doesn’t feel burdened after treating someone badly. Psychology explains reasons for the behavior of such people, but how anyone would knows their “case history” in first meeting? well they are not usually open to everyone. SO what you can do is control how you behave and deal with such people.
Here are some appropriate ways to deal with rude and selfish pals.
Try to understand them
They might be in your “friend circle” and you have known them since long but before making a general perception about them give it a try get close and understand them. They might not be that selfish or rude as they look. If they allow ask them openly why they behave in this particular way or why don’t they think about others? If they respond as if they didn’t knew they hurt anyone, you can then guide them as a friend. But in case they become aggressive or rude you can just let them be and move on your own way. (If you do this, do this only with the good intentions not to criticize or to tease.)
Accept the fact
If your attempt to understand and help them goes in vain, then the ONLY option you have left with is accept the fact that they are like that, they don’t have any regard for others, they just don’t know how to think about other’s first. Once you accept it you will feel less annoyed and disturbed and you will know where you stand in their lives and the relationship will become clearer.
Divert your attention
Make a positive turn, the attention you have been giving to the selfish and rude people, now, give it to yourself. They attention they love to receive; you shouldn’t give it to them but to yourself. Don’t drain yourself, and change the page of your life book start a new page where your focus is yourself, groom yourself more it will boost your confidence level and will allow you to live a happy life when you are not being hurt and ignored by any narcissistic prince/princess.
Don’t treat them as they treat you
These kinds of people push you to the extent where you feel like to kick them out of your sight, but that not something you should be doing, stay calm and deal with such self centered people mindfully. Firstly, you should never allow them to get close to you, If they are close treat them well, in fact treat them with nicely so them reflect on their behaviors someday and realize how wrong they are. May be it is a useless thing to do, but hope since there is little good in everyone.
Remind them they are not “THE SUN”
There may be need to do this at time when water cross the head. Let them know that world doesn’t revolves around them they are not that important or GREAT. You can’t get into a face off, of course so just be tactful with them and instead of screaming and yelling saying they never listen to you or that they are rude or selfish and avoid them. Or if you have to talk to them ask them if they can listen to you.
If you see no chance of change in their behavior, cut them from your life so you won’t get hurt all the time, If you can’t let go, minimize the time you spend with them this might turn in a good thing.