“To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.” – Confucius
The time when someone gets married is the time he gets more of the responsibilities; it’s the time when his/her family becomes a larger one. It’s been in talk since ever that how someone builds a healthy relationship with their in-laws. The main problems are usually faced by a girl; the reasons could be insecurities, lack of courtesy, ego or any other feelings. It might seem hard as this relationship is seen cold in most of the cases but of course there are people who are living perfectly happily with their in-laws. There isn’t any hard to understand theory behind it but the small things and behavioral changes to be considered.
Here are some tips making a strong bond with the new family.
Do comprehend the relationship of your spouse with his family, you must analyze how much your spouse is close to his family and then you can get along with them as you see your spouse’s relationship
Don’t assume that the relationships will be same as they were in your family, this will be “Overloaded Expectations”, and your Mother in law is not your mother unless you gain the love.
“A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another.” » Buddha
Do take the time to settle in the new family; get to know their customs, their likes and dislikes, what kind of conversations they usually have and how they want you to be.
Don’t take too much time that it makes you look a misfit in the family.
Do: be courteous, small deeds you do out of courtesy goes a long way. It can make you most loved in the family when you help others with a big smile.
Don’t be easily offensive; control your temper even when it’s hard for you.
Do seek advices. The elder ones are the most experienced; they have the goods and the bad and know world well enough, it’s good that you ask them for suggestions over small and big matters. It will also show your respect and worth you give them.
Don’t let anyone come between you and your spouse. No matter what arguments or problems you are having with your spouse don’t let it pass to another ear. Solve your issues with your partner and no one else.
Do spend some time with your family even after marriage. Your parents still have right to see you and love you.
Don’t differentiate between the two families, consider both equally loveable and respectable. Give your new family time and attention so you can get along in a beautiful way without giving room to misunderstandings.
Do know your role in the new family; know how they see you as a new member, what they expect and what not. Try to be friendly and helpful to other, never make yourself look a person who is like “touch me not” try to become part of the family as soon as possible.
Don’t try to take control. Your in-laws might be insecure especially your mother-in-law. Let them hold the house and you keep your spouse as your first and foremost priority.
“The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, is in its loyalty to each other.”