A Chinese proverb goes like, “If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.”
Though conflicts in marriage are not always inevitable but a lot of problems and issues can be sorted out without making it worse and putting your relationship on stake. Anger is a common feeling that can over take cognitive thinking of the brain, and makes people out burst at times. The need is to control it, it you are not able to control anger at hard times you can really plant difficulties for yourself and your relation.
“The relationship between husband and wife should be like fish and water and not like fish and fisherman.”
That means rather than letting fights hunt your marriage be kind and show total devotion.
Be a little thoughtful
A relation like “marriage” requires a lot of patience and mindfulness. You can’t just say whatever comes first in your mind, be thoughtful about the feelings and self-esteem of the other person. You must also be aware of the outcomes of what you say and how you act at the time of conflicts. You can easily control your anger when you are thoughtful and care more about your husband’s feelings.
Get hold of yourself
At the time of anger you don’t see things much clearly. Before you outburst your anger and wrath you should take some time to think and clear your head. The way to overcome your anger is to be silent at “THAT TIME” or you can just walk out and be alone for some time to re-think and consider the view point of your spouse. It actually helps in saving relationships.
Be a forgiver
Ruth Bell Graham once said “A marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
Being a forgiver doesn’t make you inferior or less respectful from any perspective but it makes you a person with a bigger heart and more compromising. Here I am not asking you to sacrifice your happiness but trust me you can much more happy when you are reason for someone’s else happiness. More than forgiveness is a kind act that can make you a real good life partner and that times come very soon when the other person realize their mistakes and wrong behaviors seeing your forbearance and benevolence.
Be a patient listener
“First listen then react, not react and repent.”
When you’re having a conflict, most of the times root of the problem is lack of understanding that come from lack of communication and bad listening skills, in order to avoid a bigger problem you must listen what your spouse have to say about it. It is actually a huge thing. When fury take over us we become deaf, blind and over thinking ability become almost zero.
Talk about your feelings
Only listening is not enough to sort out the whole matter. You need to convey your feelings too, and you must not conceal or hide your feeling it can make you suffocated and a weak relationships comes to existence because the other person isn’t aware of your feelings so no point of understanding.
“You are more important than my feelings.”